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ZSF Rumors
'Rumor and Gossip' Like Magellan and Columbus, modern man can only trust to the stories of other travellers to find out what's far afield in this post-apocalyptic nightmare of a world. While we are too incredulous to believe in such nonsense as the vegetable lamb of Tartary or the Sciapodae ('Umbrella Feet,' humans with one leg and a massive foot they used to shade themselves) in Pliny the Elder's bizarre history as his time knew it, we cannot safely dismiss anything as impossible simply because it's too preposterous to imagine. The following are rumors told by traders and wanderers; believe or disbelieve as you see fit, but remember that this new reality seems to delight in screwing around with one's expectations. Rumor of the Week Everybody says Madagascar could survive any kind of a pandemic. I think that's even the name of the silly game that convinced them of it. I've been there, man, and it's no paradise. I was in a group of 20 tryin' to make it to that 'promised land,' and I'm the only one who survived it. The bastards started shooting before we got within a mile of the shore... I don't know what kind of guns they've got. The guy in charge was one of the last to die, more's the pity, and kept us heading in like they'd realize we weren't zombies and stop attacking. I stayed with the boat and let the five of 'em left other than me charge in; wasn't worth my neck. I was far out to sea again before they finished everybody off, but I was close enough to see what happened. Those bastards came right out to pick up the bodies, didn't leave a scrap of flesh out. They're zombies or cannibals, or both. Prior Rumors I'll tell you what caused this zombie stuff! Some rogue biochemics or whatever wanted to screw the US over for endorsing sweatshop labor, so they contaminated all the stuff going into the sweatshops. That infected all the workers, stupid eggheads, but they didn't turn 'til the clothes they made were all over the world. Don't wear anything from Target or you're going to be a zombie for sure! Hey, mon, I'll trade with just about anybody, but I'm not goin' near that Trailblazers base. I roomed with one a' those mystic nuts, he had every ley line mapped out on one a' the walls and that old folk's home has three of 'em runnin' through it. Now all the fantasy's gone real on us, an' I don't wanna grow fairy wings or any a' that other BS staying next ta that kinda stuff does to ya. Might take months, might take seconds, so I ain't risking it! Smokers? Those freaks all come from Mexico City, boy. The pollution and corruption ate at those scum, turned them into some of the more horrific zombies we have to deal with now. If they're in your neighborhood, it's because they've beaten a clear path from Mexico city to you. Greece has become a farmer's paradise, but don't trust the wines. They're too strong for the mortal mind to handle, and the Greeks always give a glass to visitors. Then they take you off to work as a farm slave with all the others, happy to do backbreaking work as long as they keep getting their daily wine. Allegedly word for word account of what one of the wandering traders heard from a guy who sold them a bunch of ammo in northwest Visalia: I'm tellin' ya, man, there's weirder shit than zombies and mutants goin' on. That stuff we gave you wasn't outta no military research base, no matter what you're sayin'. Least that's not where we got it from. We was tryin' to catch some fish when there was this weird flash of blue light, and damn huge metal box came outta nowhere at, geez, at least 80. Wrecked a whole lot of what was in there when it landed, but we took everything we could figure out cuz it's gotta be worth some food, right? French recon forces in the United States report that if you must cross the Rockies, to stay on the main highways and go fast. There are dragons and even worse things up in the mountains, and they don't approve of mere humans trespassing in their domains.